Elliminno P

0027: Down Right Fierce

2011-01-01T13:35:00.003-05:00

MEMORIES IN SEPIA TONE!!

Feels good to be doing this again. Sorry for the hiatus, I'll try not to let it happen again. In fact, it's part of my New Year's Resolution.
Nothing of value was really missed anyway.

This was Kent Ward's Down Right Fierce New Year's Party two years ago, where the seeds of cancer were planted in Justin.

This is fact.

Tonight, we participate in Down Right Fierce III.

-J

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0026: Poker Night

2010-09-24T15:56:00.004-04:00

Best five dollars I ever spent. Great company, great friends.

Sorry, kind of in a hurry, I start Howl o Scream work tonight. :)

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0025: Haunted

2010-09-20T11:21:00.005-04:00

This is my fresh new hell I've been living in for the last two months. I really went back and forth on this strip, whether or not to post it or finish it at all, and eventually decided to do it because it's occupying a lot of real estate in my mind. I hope maybe putting this out there will help me relax a little.

Or at least help me fake relaxing better.

Ideally there will be two comics today. I got a call an hour ago that one of Shawn's friends is in the hospital in a coma and it's not looking good, so sometime today I'm taking him down there to see him.

Sigh, it must be Monday.

-J

0024: Believe It

2010-09-13T19:39:00.003-04:00

Julian is a colleague and as of recent, fellow coworker. He always has something interesting or hilarious to say.

Or for me to misinterpret.

-J

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0023: Dirty Monkey

2010-09-01T22:54:00.004-04:00

Life Goals Checklist:
[x] Experience a "Dream Come True". Check.

Kara is my soul mate. :)

-J

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0022: Better

2010-08-27T06:23:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve the good things that happen to me. This night was one of them.

Rachel and Mouse. <3

-J

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0021: Sick

2010-08-25T12:17:00.003-04:00

Sinuses maximum infection. Doodling some thoughts. Going back to bed.

Kent's 106% accurate review of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

-J

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0020: Exes

2010-08-19T10:58:00.003-04:00

Most of this was inked last night, when I had been drinking. I was too lazy to go back and fix it.

I love and miss all the women of my life.

Scott Pilgrim tonight!

-J

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0019: Lately

2010-08-12T10:29:00.004-04:00

More of a collage of what I've been up to lately. Next week my hours at work are getting cut (summer's officially over), so I'll (hopefully) have a lot more time to work on this. :)

-J

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0018: Smashing

2010-08-05T10:29:00.003-04:00

I don't have a lot of time for updating comics when they run two hours of Phineas and Ferb every morning. And then Chowder comes on before I have to go to work. Its not fair.

Anyway. Smashing Pumpkins concert Olivia treated me to right before I moved out, and it was so incredibly awesome. The Pumpkins are my favorite band, it was really awesome to get to see them. Even if 3/4 of the original members were replaced by dopplegangers.

I have been to four concerts.

(I can't stand loud noises and big crowds)

-J

P.S. Fun fact: suggested "correct" spellings for "dopplegangers" - Paperhangers, moneychangers, dangerous. Weird.

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0017: My Huckleberry

2010-07-31T22:31:00.003-04:00

This was intended to be posted before I moved out, but I got way too caught up in packing and have been without internet until now.

Which is why I haven't updated.

But now I'm back in full swing for August! I have a lot to catch up on, its been a pretty serious week-and-a-half.

Justin has cancer. Boo. It took me until now to make a strip about it obviously because I needed to get to a point where I'd accepted that and knew he'd be okay with me talking about it. Good news is that he's taking it literally as well as depicted, and chemo hasn't slowed him down at all.

-J

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0016: Heroes

2010-07-16T22:56:00.004-04:00

The subtitle is a play on Krishna's own slice of life web comic, Uncubed, which can be seen here.

In case any of them ever see this, I've learned so much from each of you both as an artist and as a person - and you've all helped me decide what kind of person I want to become. Thanks, guys.

-J

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0015: Tiny Dancer

2010-07-13T23:31:00.004-04:00

Welcome to my romantic life. At least Marlon gets a good laugh out of it in the end. This comic isn't really fair to her. She was a very intelligent and attractive young lady. Just really...troubled.

Beautiful green eyes.

Pink is empowering to women.

And aware of breast cancer.

Bonus Stage: She has an annual pass - she may return.

-J

EDIT: SHE CAME BACK. She asked around about me, but I wasn't at the stand I was scheduled at, so she missed me. Maybe one day, though. :)

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0014: Phyllis

2010-07-11T17:01:00.004-04:00

Phyllis was the dinosaur and she had that sexy female computer voice that they use in virtually everything sci-fi.

But she couldn't talk, she just roared in that voice.

It was kind of a turn on.

In my dreamscape escapades I make the grade, I save the day.

-J

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0013: Hobby

2010-07-07T23:18:00.001-04:00

Don't look at me like that.

-J

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0012: Plural of Crisis

2010-07-05T12:03:00.003-04:00

Bleh.

Seemed like when I was school there was never time for me to work on all the great ideas I had, and now that I'm out of school, I don't have any great ideas.

It's a conundrum.

I need something fresh, that's why I started making t-shirt designs this weekend. I'd like a better place to host the shop - somewhere with more options than spreadshirt. Anyone have any suggestions, drop me a line.

-J

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0011: Belt Buckle

2010-06-27T23:58:00.006-04:00

Every conversation with Richard is like this.

Not about shaving, just awesome. And I have to jump to high five him.

Two posts in a row, both work related, both belly related, both in the old style layout that I'm still rather fond of.

Worked the closing shift all last week and then house-sat for Kris Thurs-Sat. I made a tent and got drunk and yelled at her cats in a Russian accent. I tell you this because my memories are too fuzzy to make a comic about it.

-J

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0010: Bellybutton

2010-06-27T23:54:00.005-04:00

Rachel says amazing things completely unprovoked.

And I can't get a marble to stay in my bellybutton.

-J

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0009: Wonder

2010-06-19T19:58:00.003-04:00

I'm prone to introspective moments. And sometimes, when I get home late, I crawl up on top of my car and stare off into the starless black (there's a light pole in my yard) and think about questions that don't have answers.

My hobby.

-J

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0008: Poker

2010-06-13T21:55:00.004-04:00

And it was awesome.

Just a quick panel to illustrate what happened last night. I thought about doing something way more epic, but there's no way I could fit in all the amazing parts, so I left it as a single panel.

Justin ended up with damn near every chip on the table and was keeping them in his hat. And kept talking like a Texas Oil Tycoon.

Kyo renamed "Texas Hold'em" to "Sexist Hold'em" and by unanimous vote, it stuck. We also renamed "Guts" to something I probably can't say here because it's racially insensitive and even though Kyo's black and thought it was hilarious, I don't want to go down that road. Yet.

Shawn kept using the "All In" strategy when he had absolutely nothing in his hand.

And I ended up without my pants.

Little conflicted about coloring all my characters white. To illustrate all of my black friends, they will have grape soda.

:)

-J

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0007: Rattata

2010-06-11T11:50:00.003-04:00

True story.

I named him "Swzlbrtchs" because there's a ten character limit on names.

Sorry about the lack of updates the last week, I've received a lot of bad news about a number of people I care about and its gotten me kind of down, and while I really want to make a comic about my life every day, I don't want it to be a depressing comic about my life every day.

Thanks to all of you who have put up with the burden I've been and cheered me up the last week or so.

And if you haven't cheered me up, thanks for reading my comic.

-J

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0006: Typical

2010-06-10T10:53:00.004-04:00

Drawing someone who can laugh at themselves is a rare treat for a caricaturist.

I've also included an FAQ for all of my non-caricaturist buddies should you ever decide to approach an artist.

Q: How much? (Or the ever popular) How much this is?
A: Well, sir/madam, we happen to have a sign posted RIGHT HERE AT EYE LEVEL illustrating our different styles and the corresponding prices.

Q: What's the difference between the one of just the face and the one with a body and background?
A: Well, the one on top is just a face and the one on the bottom has a body and a background. :)

Q: Can you not draw my braces?
A: Sure, just don't smile.

Q: Can you not draw my child fat? (OR!) Can you fix my child's teeth and not make them so...like they are? (YES, I'VE GOTTEN BOTH OF THESE. VERBATIM.)
A: WOW. YOU REALLY SAID THAT.

Q: How much for two people?
A: The prices are per person.

Q: Yeah, but what if they're in the same page?
A: PER. PERSON. Does McDonald's only charge you for one hamburger when you order two just because they're on the same tray?

Q: I know the park closed ten minutes ago because they made an announcement, and I plainly see you carrying the money bag, but can you draw a picture of my family? We've always wanted one!
A: Yeah, sometimes life gives you lemons like that.

Q: How much do you make doing this?
A: Oh, it's entirely commission based, and most people don't tip, so it's a hard living to make. I do it because I love art and my real payment is people's reactions. I keep hoping one day my work will impress someone famous and they'll tip the scales in my favor. Until then I just keep trying to improve my craft by taking tips from better artists. Oh, snap, my marker tip just fell off.

Q: What's the best beach in Florida?
A: Florida beaches suck, they're full of tourists.

:D Hope this helps!

-J

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0005: Johto

2010-05-31T22:41:00.005-04:00

More pokemon. Maybe tomorrow something awesome will happen in my real life. :)

Yes, when it comes to choosing a starter pokemon, I always pick the one that most closely resembles a dinosaur.

-J

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0004: New Game

2010-05-30T17:23:00.004-04:00

So this is where things get risky. Let's face it, I'm a gamer, and sometimes I do nothing more with my day than sit on my duff and play video games. And I like to pretend they're all about me and personify things so they relate to me and make my life even more awesome. Egocentric jerk, remember? A year ago I got back into pokemon after nearly ten years. I've been playing Diamond/Platinum for about a year, and recently picked up the new HeartGold.

* - I tend to save my game in Dawn's bed because I have a dirty mind and it makes me chuckle.

Not all of you are going to really follow my game-related comics, I guess. Oh well. Shouldn't be many.

I'm not going to apologize. You can look at me all you want.

-J

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0003: Censor

2010-05-29T19:58:00.003-04:00

This is you feeling gipped.

Or me dancing around drawing us at an entirely unimpressive hipster art gallery.

-J

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0002: Catch Up

2010-05-27T20:12:00.005-04:00

This could become habit-forming.

So before I get too far in this thing, which I imagine will consist a lot of work related stories, I might as well do a strip explaining that NEARLY EVERYONE I worked with a year ago is gone - Ken and all of woodshop, Robyn, The Captain, Kris and even Soup.

They're all still my friends though, and thankfully my friends don't disappear on me.

Often.

Adventures start next time!

-J

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0001: Thin Again Begin Again

2010-05-26T23:34:00.004-04:00

After a six month hiatus, I'm back. I think a fresh start is in order, so I've set aside the first years' comics as "Year One". If you're new to the strip and you want to check it out, click the related links, there's a lot of stories and good times there.

Changes:
Color. At least this much, maybe you'll get lucky every once in awhile and I'll throw a full color page up.
Format. I'm abandoning entirely the five-panel format. I often felt like I was cramming things into the required format last year, and I hate rules anyway. Now, they'll take as many panels as they take. One or fifty. Deal with it. And they wont always be squares. Or the same size.
Arms. And dangerous.
Subject. Whatever I'm thinking at the time. THIS IS ABOUT TO GET PERSONAL IN HERE.

I hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for all your support.

-J

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YEAR ONE

2010-01-11T13:15:00.002-05:00

I've been trying to update this comic for a few days now. Unfortunately, my computer has reached the end of its life, I'm afraid. I can have photoshop open for about 30 minutes before I experience out of memory notices and things start grinding to a halt until eventually, I can't do anything except reboot. The second I get my debit card from my new bank I'm ordering a new laptop and the CS3 Suite.

Until then, hang tight.

Sorry, all.

0071 - Untitled

2009-12-22T13:39:00.002-05:00

A couple of things.

One. Blogger and Firefox stopped playing nice, it seems. At least for me (and according to some forums, a smattering of other people) are having trouble opening images from blogger on firefox. I can't speak for other browsers, but on my NEW DROID PHONE it works fine. I found a work around, but it doesn't apply to updates prior to now, mostly because I'm not going to go back and edit the html of 70 comics. I assume since blogger is kind of a big deal *eventually* they'll fix it, so for now, just deal.

Two. Updates should start back semi-regularly. I graduated last week which means school is no longer a part of my life and once the novelty of getting to sleep in and do whatever I want on the days when I don't have to work wears off, I'll be hard core arting it. But updates may be sporadic through the end of this year because I'm in the process of getting a new computer. The laptop I'm currently working on is in dire need of an upgrade - simply INKING this strip took almost two hours, I had to keep waiting for photoshop to catch up to what I'm doing. But once all that is settled, I think I've come up with an idea for another comic I'd like to do alongside this one....

Three. Mouse and I broke up. There will not be a strip about this. There's really nothing more to tell, anyway.

-J

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0070 - Spotlight

2009-11-17T20:31:00.005-05:00

Brotha Kyo is fantastic.

Real story next comic.

-J

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0069 - Updates

2009-11-17T20:25:00.003-05:00

Just a few quick points I wanted to make - I still have about 20 particular incidents written down to chronicle in comic format over the next week or so. None of these particular things really warranted having their own strip, so...here's one strip of all of them.

-J

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0068 - Bom Bom BOM

2009-11-17T20:10:00.004-05:00

Finally got a new tablet.

Finally got time to draw.

I have soooo many strips to fill you in on.

Good to be back. :)

-J

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0067 - Grace

2009-10-03T15:23:00.002-04:00

I think Grace has a good enough sense of humor that she won't get offended at this.

Is there anything to get offended about? I just cross-referenced her with one of the best movies of all time.

Simpson's the one that said it, anyway.

-J

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0066 - Mouse

2009-10-03T15:21:00.002-04:00

So, I'm dating Mouse.

-J

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0065 - Coworkers

2009-10-03T15:16:00.004-04:00

Just some random moments from work [last sunday.]

Ugh, I really need to start kicking my ass into updating this thing. But I got so addicted to doing NOTHING over my break...

So Jim doesn't actually have a beard anymore, but I refuse to draw only half his face. Ticqui hates pickles unless they're unscathed or relished. Robyn has opposable eyebrows, Ken and I have a bromance, I think, and Kara is a quadrahedron. I did in fact draw her, I'll put it in the art blog later.

-J

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0064 - Complicated

2009-09-28T23:02:00.003-04:00

Now it's in your head.

I think this strip accurately illustrates how much of a sissy I can be when it comes to girls and how I have to go and make everything super convoluted and threatening.

But even so, hearing Avril Lavigne call me out on it made me 7 degrees of angry.

What's that song even doing on the radio?

-J

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0063 - Milgram

2009-09-28T22:54:00.003-04:00

Reason # 35 of "Why I'm Awesome": I'm Psychic. Or living proof of the Collective Unconscious. Or maybe it was just those pancakes.

Recent conversation between Justin and myself at IHOP. I've also taken to drawing caricatures of whoever I'm with on the back of the place mats in crayon. I did one of him that night with a red and blue crayon and it turned out really cool.

I haven't drawn a comic in weeks, I'm rusty, but I'm updating. A few days of sub par shitty drawings and I should be back to par shitty drawings in no time. :)

-J

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0062 - What She Said

2009-09-27T20:56:00.004-04:00

Re-uploading from two weeks ago.

My comic has never caused so much drama before. I'm kind of looking forward to it ruffling more feathers.

I should clarify that John was pressuring me way more than Kris was.

I haven't seen Taylor since. We really just havent been scheduled on the same days, but she probably also thinks I'm weird.

-J

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0061 - Jeni

2009-09-16T10:24:00.006-04:00

Way back in the way back, there was "the one that got away", Jeni.

Actually, I pretty openly flirted with a lot of the girls I worked with at Airbrush, Jeni was just the only one who ever took the bait, everyone else just ignored me. She's also the only girl I've ever bought anything for for Valentine's. (My relationships all conveniently end before holidays and my birthday. Huh.)

Freakin' 25$ bear got tossed because she had a *boyfriend*.

-J

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0060 - Listen

2009-09-10T11:48:00.006-04:00

Only now does it occur to me that nearly all of Kaman's reads my comic and that she'll probably see this in....oh. 30 minutes.

And find it thoroughly creepy that I made a comic about liking her before actually telling her I like her.

Wow. Even gives me the heebie jeebies.

God dang, Jared.

Oh, and her favorite number is 6, its only sheer coincidence that this particular comic is 60. This was not intentional. But kind of cool.

Oh, and I had to shave my sideburns for Marlon. Silly Marlon, following dress code policies.

-J

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0059 - For You

2009-09-10T11:44:00.004-04:00

Back to the present.

Speaking of present, that was a good day for them. I got that amazing creature from Taylor, 3 random padlocks without keys from Dion, a bedazzler jewel from Ken and when I bought a Reese's from the machine, potato chips also came out. Awesome.

-J

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0058 - The Voice

2009-09-10T11:41:00.004-04:00

Because relationships have been a common theme in my life, I figured I'd batch update with a bunch of lovey dovey stories! :D

I should probably disclaimer that Jenn and I are good friends and I love her very much.

-J

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0057 - Deja Vu

2009-09-10T11:35:00.004-04:00

About 3 years ago vs. 1 year ago.

My breakups always feel the same. Bad.

I think I already know every comment that is going to be made about this, I'm considering disabling them for this one.

I should write a book about how to dig your own grave, lol.

* Since breaking up with Jenn, I've discovered I like the occasional drink. :)

-J

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0056 - Comic

2009-09-03T16:36:00.002-04:00

I love my comic.

-J

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0055 - 1927 Penny

2009-09-03T16:31:00.001-04:00

John's a really cool guy.

I've always felt like I lacked direction. I have no aim in my life.

He made me feel like I could do something awesome.

I want a 1927 penny, too.

The panel with Mouse is important to the story later on and not arbitrary.

-J

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0054 - Kaman's

2009-09-03T16:27:00.004-04:00

All my friends from work. :)

John got the job. I was drawing this as his interview was happening. Apparently Kris has already given him the nickname "Soup."

I'm still going to call him "Skittle."

I'm not happy with the likeness of all of my co-workers, but I guess that'll come in time.

None of them have arms.

-J

EDIT 9-13: I spelled Ticqui wrong and no one's called me out on it.

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0053 - Crush

2009-08-27T16:44:00.004-04:00

WHY THIS IS TRAGIC:
As a personal rule and defense mechanism, I intentionally only let myself like girls that I could never "get with" because then I won't get attached and it becomes like a game where my numerous failed attempts to impress her become hilarious to all involved, including me. (Whenever I do a comic about Jeni, you will see.)

The travesty occurs when I realize I *actually* like a girl and that there is even a *slight* possibility of success. Because then I get all worked up and mushy. This is all still very funny to everyone else, just not me. I don't like being the only one not laughing.

And the worst part is, I will have to make a comic about this.

But who knows, maybe my comic will have its first ROMANCE ARC THAT IS ACTUALLY OCCURRING WITHIN THE CURRENT TIME LINE.

See how complicated this is already?

Sidenote, only four more weeks in this quarter, then I should be able to get back into updating every day and spending more time on the drawings than just mass updating once a week. Thanks for bearing with me.

-J

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0052 - Week

2009-08-27T16:41:00.003-04:00

This was just a summary of Sunday and Monday.

I found out that the guy who hit my car is going to have to pay to have it fixed. Woo.

-J

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0051 - Sponge

2009-08-27T16:39:00.004-04:00

Working with manager John is awesome.

-J

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0050 - Jurassica Park II

2009-08-27T16:33:00.004-04:00

I figured I'd make my super awesome 50th milestone dedicated to the end of my first legend and reoccurring joke.

I'm positive she hated the caricature I drew of her, she's just being nice. I'll upload it later tomorrow. You can see her drawing of me here.

Goodbye, Jessica, I'm glad we got to be friends.

-J

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0049 - Students

2009-08-20T16:09:00.005-04:00

I was supposed to graduate highschool and go to a school with like-minded thinkers that I finally fit in with. Somehow, I am actually MORE ALONE THAN I WAS THEN.

The fashion students in the first panel were in the lounge when I decided to draw this. But you know, the side ponytail is nothing compared to WEARING A FOX TAIL IN PUBLIC. IN COLLEGE.

All of these "original" "free thinkers" who "don't care what I think" give me a migraine.

There are obviously exceptions. I am friends with all six of them.

"Stupid MF" by Mindless Self Indulgence just came on my playlist. I laughed at the appropriateness.

Tell me I'm wrong. You'd be lying, though.

-J

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0048 - Summer

2009-08-17T23:59:00.011-04:00

So there was this preview for a new medical drama that Michael Bay might as well have directed. Anyone see it?

Oh yeah, I guess there's kind of a spoiler about the movie.

Still a fantastic movie though. :)

-J

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0047 - Naumans

2009-08-17T23:58:00.000-04:00

I adore the Naumans, all of them. Their family has "adopted" me and I feel like I can be myself around them. I would go over there every day if I could, its such a positive and fun environment.

The trouble is, I'm not used to all the affection, so I get really uncomfortable.

-J

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0046 - Drama

2009-08-17T23:57:00.000-04:00

I'll be fine, I just need to find two more days in the week.

-J

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0045 - :)

2009-08-13T17:39:00.003-04:00

I hope this weekend is just as good.

-J

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0044 - Stories

2009-08-13T15:42:00.003-04:00

(That is so not fair.)

Yep.

Anyone not directly implicated in this comic won't understand it.

-J

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0043 - Rage

2009-08-13T15:39:00.002-04:00

Not to mention MY INTERNET WAS OUT SUNDAY - TUESDAY. WTF. Sorry for all the missed comics. Last week was pretty intense. I wasn't even home from Thursday until Saturday night, and then the internet left and didn't come back until Tuesday. I'm trying to make up for it though. :)

-J

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0042 - Answer

2009-08-13T15:36:00.002-04:00

I don't think anyone gets me.

-J

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0041 - Forgot

2009-08-06T19:44:00.003-04:00

Are we all square now?

Hmmm?

Jim?

-J

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0040 - Choo

2009-08-05T23:49:00.003-04:00

I'm sick.

And my tablet needs to stop being a dick.

-J

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0039 - First Day

2009-08-03T23:50:00.003-04:00

I love being a caricature artist...I'm just not good at it.

And guess who I met in panel 3?

Sorry about the sloppiness, I am BEAT. I was intending on doing this earlier but something came up. Day 2 tomorrow!

-J

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0038 - Sara

2009-08-02T21:56:00.005-04:00

You guys remember Sara and Mad Dog right? Sara's birthday is today, I went to Orlando this weekend to celebrate it with her and her friends, whom I adore.

8 panels just isn't enough. I didn't get to describe me sitting in front of a fan blowing full blast in my face pretending I was flying down a desert highway in a convertible. Or getting a little loopy and face planting onto the porch. Or Mad Dog PROMISING to make me my dream cake for my birthday. Or the fact that when I left, Sara presented me with her ENTIRE COLLECTION OF POKEMON CARDS. I'm adding them to my collection right now and not the least bit ashamed of admitting it. Hell yeah!

Had an awesome time though, I hope Sara's birthday ended really great after I left.

And I hope Mad Dog's stomach stopped being urpy. :)

<3

-J

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0037 - Wonderlust

2009-07-31T15:04:00.006-04:00

I am too short and too light weight to enjoy concerts. :(

But, I got to see them a little. I'm going to go see them again in October or whenever, and I'll bring ear plugs and buff up for it.

The idea of doing a training montage comic in preparation for a Gogol Bordello concert seems natural. :)

I guess this concludes July, I only made 17 - roughly one every other day (and one of those was a guest strip). Granted, I missed a week and a half due to personal issues, I still feel pretty disappointed on the whole. Here's to August. I'm going to a party tomorrow, that should warrant some good comics. :)

-J

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0036 - Slacker

2009-07-29T10:40:00.003-04:00

Still in class.

Gogol Bordello concert tonight. :)

-J

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0035 - Shawn

2009-07-27T00:34:00.002-04:00

And today is his birthday.
Happy birthday, Shawn.

-J

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0034 - Pachycephalosaurus

2009-07-26T12:34:00.001-04:00

Jess's party a week-ish ago in Downtown Disney.

Kent was also there, along with a Super Shitty Turbo Kitty cake that I made, and a Lego Gundam.

Our waiter was so nice / I was so poor that I tipped him with a piece of cake instead of money. I think he appreciated it more. :)

-J

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0033 - Proceed

2009-07-26T11:24:00.004-04:00

I think he's going to be just fine.

Expect more updates today. I'm going to shoot for at least two more.
Also, all three of us shaved.

-J

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0032 - Identity

2009-07-15T20:54:00.003-04:00

Might seem like a soap box comic, but this is actually weighing heavy on my mind. The closer I get to graduation the more I have to prepare for "the business world" the more it kind of freaks me out. I've also never done "graphic design" proper before, so the idea that I am going to come up with a small graphic in the next two weeks that will sum up my "identity" is scary. I guess I always take things to a philosophical place, I've never even known who I am as a person, much less as an artist. I have no idea what I want to do after school, where I'll work, or even if I can make it as an artist at all. I'm not that great - and I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm grateful to have the support of my friends behind me, but really, compared to the rest of the industry I am an experienceless character artist who can barely remember the principals of animation, who can't draw backgrounds or model to save his life, and who is *colorblind* of all things.

I guess it could be worse, I could draw furries.

-J

(For those not in the know, I was actually going to link to a furry site. But googling it just now made me SO INCREDIBLY ANGRY AT THE WORLD I decided that you can do it yourself.)

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Guest Comic from Daniel : Gumball

2009-07-14T21:53:00.002-04:00

My first guest comic! Yesterday, Daniel, Shawn, John and I spent the day wandering around Tampa and drawing. Daniel tried to get a gumball but all his flavor was broken off. Actually, yesterday Daniel spent most of the day making that face at us. He drew this and let me put it up as a guest strip.

He drew the comic, I just cleaned it up in photoshop and inked it. Thanks, Daniel.

0031 - Soundproof

2009-07-14T21:50:00.003-04:00

I should probably start with the disclaimer that none of us actually have a problem with gay people. But when there is a whole group of them (more than I could fit in the panel, actually) just making out in a parking garage behind your car, it's a little shocking. I think it would be if they were a group of ANYONE making out behind my car.

Yesterday Shawn Daniel and I spent most of the day trying to find John and getting lost in Tampa, but once we got together we all did a lot of drawing and a bunch of good came of it. John even bought fake mustaches that we wore around and made me sneeze all day. Don't miss the updates (soon to follow!) in my Sketch Journal.

Also, Daniel let me put up a comic he drew about yesterday as a guest strip, go look!

-J

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0030 - Bootleather

2009-07-12T02:24:00.005-04:00

This actually happened around a few years ago.

Justin's great for many reasons, but mostly because he's incapable of lying. Or even putting things gently. However, you do NOT insult food around Shawn. Even if you're in a Chinese restaurant that seats you in your own little round-eye section on the other side of the place from the rest of the customers. Also, the irony that Shawn, of all people, would tell someone to apologize for something rude that they did, that's its own punchline.

That was a good day.

Today I realized I write a comic where nothing actually happens.

-J

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0029 - Block

2009-07-11T01:53:00.004-04:00

How to Dig Your Own Grave:
1. Start a Webcomic about yourself and your friends.
2. Accomplish the following in five panels or less:
[x] Tell your friends no sane girl would consider dating them.
[x] Allude to the fact that all or some of your ex's are crazy.
[x] Allude to the fact that all or some of *their* ex's are crazy.
3.Suddenly remember that everyone above reads your comic.

They all know I'm joking. But seriously, they're all freaking crazy.

The shirt that Justin's sporting in this comic is this one. I designed it, so that should be reason enough for you to buy it.

I have no idea what shirt Shawn's got, probably something he scavenged from a dumpster.

Oh yeah, I was originally going to post a comic about Shawn's bad movie night I went to WHICH WAS AWESOME, and I drew it with AWESOMIFICATION, but then photoshop died while I was saving it, so it retconned itself out of existance - I think its because in it I revealed the secret recipe for Shawn's ultimate dish.

Have a good one, guys.

-J

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0028 - This Girl

2009-07-08T17:57:00.004-04:00

Yeah. Not my proudest moment.

-J

EDIT 07-12-09: I have scared her off. I must admit, I'm actually a little proud of myself. I can't even get online dating site girls to flirt with me. Admit it, even you're impressed.

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0027 - Uzzi

2009-07-07T13:43:00.003-04:00

Another comic about my old airbrush job, and my friend Usman, or Uzzi for short. (He even has an uzi tattooed on his neck, he is so freaking pimp.) Between me and Uzzi we could make anything fun, and I miss working with him.

We sang to our customers often on days when next to no one was at the park, I would sing a line and then Uzzi would come up with something that would rhyme with it.

The guy in the second panel is my boss Dion. He's a pretty cool guy. When he wanted something done, he wouldn't directly come out and say it. If something needed cleaning he'd say something like "Wow, that looks awful." and then just smile.

Cheers, Uzzi.

-J

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0026 - Flowchart of Women

2009-07-06T19:00:00.007-04:00

Insert another apology about not updating, try to make up for it by posting FOUR comics at once, blah blah blah. Truthfully, I've been either out of the house all day or in a really foul mood. And then yesterday I got sick. But enough got to be enough, so I finished up the comics I'd started and put them up. I'm such a trooper.

I'm really trying to not make this a habit.

Go check out 23, 24 and 25, too!

-J

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0025 - Low

2009-07-06T18:55:00.004-04:00

I looked through 750 profiles.
I messaged all 6 girls that mildly interested me.
I lol'ed at the other 744. Seriously. I didn't even get to put a panel about the 64 year old woman who flirted with me.
Of 6, 1 messaged me back.

(happened to be my favorite)

I'm not sure if my confidence is ultimately boosted or shot down by this experience.

-J

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0024 - Jess

2009-07-06T18:50:00.003-04:00

I should probably clarify that I adore Jess. She's probably the best, thoughtful, doting girlfriend on the planet and I can't be happier for what she and Jacob share. Gives me hope that maybe, one day, even I...

Yeah, right. xD

Jess also is an artist, I think that's why we clique.

-J

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0023 - Kent

2009-07-06T18:42:00.004-04:00

This is Kent, the MFK Legend. He really goes "Oh Yeah!" at things that please him in his best Kool-Aid Man voice. He's one of the most entertaining people I know and a good friend.

I cannot swim. Rather, I cannot float.

-J

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0022 - Radio

2009-07-01T23:16:00.005-04:00

Ever notice how similar the radio has become to your email inbox?

Its a new month, I got 20 last month, shooting for 25 this month. Incidentally, I'm going to make it very hard to get a hold of me the rest of the time I'm on break. So if you can't get in touch, don't take it personal, I need time to focus on my art.

Looking back at this comic, I should have added a caption bar in the last panel that reads "Things can ALWAYS get worse."

-J

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0021 - Magic

2009-06-27T23:36:00.005-04:00

Well look at that! He really did it!

Sorry, this one's a little geared to the gamer crowd, which is a double edged sword because not everyone will fully "get" it, and also, the majority of the gamer crowd thoroughly enjoys both of the games he (we - I agree) are calling garbage.

I guess I've just opened up a whole can of worms and now I'm going to have to deal with throngs of people flaming my comic. That's the price you pay for having an opinion on the internet, you know.

Well, while we're on the subject, Twilight sucks, too.

What. Bring it.

-J

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0020 - Goals

2009-06-26T16:35:00.003-04:00

Sorry about the lack of updates recently. I fully INTENDED on dedicating my break to drawing and updating this thing fully, but you know what they say about best laid plans. TO MAKE IT UP, today is a SUPER DUPER TRIPLE SCOOPER UPDATE. So float on back and be sure to check out #18 and #19, too.

About this comic, well, the longer I'm awake, the more "creative" I tend to be.

-J

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0019 - Jurassica Park

2009-06-26T16:31:00.003-04:00

I want to meet a girl who can make my wildest dreams come true.

-J

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0018 - Jacob

2009-06-26T16:18:00.004-04:00

SPLASH PAGE!

Jacob is one of my very best - and oldest - friends. I felt kind of guilty because the second comic only depicted who I hung out with on a semi-daily basis, so everyone else gets a splash page.

Back in elementary school we used to play Star Wars at recess. Jacob and I were the droids. I like to think its because we were smart.

Yeah, *smart*.

Still have to do Kent's and Alex's before they get antsy.

-J

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0017 - Accomplished

2009-06-22T23:35:00.004-04:00

So, what did *you* accomplish today?

Oh, and it's official! According to Kent, Elliminno P is more interesting than everyone else's LiveJournal!

-J

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0016 - Idiot

2009-06-20T23:52:00.004-04:00

Mom sleeps on the couch because dad snores too loud. I never realized how ironic this was until last night.

I had a *lot* more fun hanging out with Sara than I originally thought I would, I'm really glad we can be friends again. As an added bonus, her friends are all really cute girls too. I need to visit Orlando more often now that I'm on break and see them.

*That says "Mema's Alaskan Taco", sorry for my handwriting, I'm in a bit of a hurry. Its my single favorite place to eat. If you're ever in Ybor, Florida, stop in.

-J

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0015 - Check

2009-06-19T18:48:00.006-04:00

AND CUE SUMMER BREAK. You know, today started out really awesome and progressively just got more awkward, but it can't possibly be a bad day.

Brandon has been my mentor this quarter, I've been working under him doing storyboards for various cartoons that will hopefully be airing this fall so I can post my work from them. Until then that's all I can really say, so wait patiently.

It still makes me pretty baller.

-J

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0014 - Airbrush

2009-06-16T19:01:00.005-04:00

That's Kris, my old work pal. She'll probably crop up in more comics.

Working at a theme park isn't as exciting as it sounds, 9 days out of 10 the park was desolate. On those days, I made 8$ an hour having my nails painted by Kris. Still, I kind of miss it though.

-J

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0013 - Superego

2009-06-15T23:06:00.004-04:00

It's hard enough to reconcile being overly self-critical and lax at the same time. I admit, my finals this quarter suck in comparison to what I'm capable of, and Krishna knows it. He didn't outright say it, but he knows what I can do, I think. SO NOW NOT ONLY HAVE I LET MYSELF DOWN, BUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PROFESSORS, TOO. UGH, FAILURE.

(For those of you new to me, I do this all the time. I over-dramatize everything because I think it makes me seem more interesting as a human being)

I really need this break, I'm going to do a lot of personal work for myself and I guess beef up my portfolio. I just really need to get away from deadlines for awhile.

Oh yeah, I've been really thinking about the language used in the comics. I mean, I've always been about as against censorship in general as one can be, but I realize that people get offended easily and that certain words tend to push certain buttons. The idea of the comic is to tell my life and my stories as they happen, and certain words and phrases are going to crop up a lot, because, well, we need our mouths washed out with soap. What do you guys think? Should I be professional about my comic and tone it down to PG or do I tell it like it actually is?

Oh, and I don't know what you're talking about, its been here the whole time.

-J

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0012 - Til Brooklyn

2009-06-12T09:39:00.006-04:00

Either way, I did not sleep (well) last night.

Sorry for the rushed comics and the missing two days this week, thankfully no one's been on my case about it. It's finals and while I may not seem like it, I'm actually under a LOT of stress this week. Only one week (three days) left though, so I'm almost there.

If Lady Gaga ever teamed up with roaches, I would never sleep again.

EVER.

-J

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0011 - Threat

2009-06-10T10:35:00.004-04:00

Hi, my name is Jared, I take wonderful things and RUIN them.

Yeah, I missed yesterday. I guess it had to happen eventually, ah well. 10 Hit Combo, can I beat it?

-J

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0010 - Jenn

2009-06-08T23:26:00.004-04:00

Let's see how you guys handle sentiment? Hah? Haaaah? Have at you!

*Nii-chan is a term of endearment for big brothers. For the longest time we had a brother-sister kind of friendship, the kind you don't actually have with your brothers or sisters. xD

I don't really have a lot of stories that would make the live studio audience go "Awwww", its mostly just canned applause and that same damn laugh track over and over and over again.

:) Now, on three. One, two....

"Awwwwww"

-J

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0009 - Wisdom

2009-06-07T22:35:00.003-04:00

Dad and I have an awkward relationship at best. Of all the things he's ever told me, this is the one that sticks with me. I wish I were kidding.

Sunday comics in COLOR! I can't make any promises, but I can sure try to make it a weekly thing. Even though its just flats, it actually took longer to color it than it did to draw.

Celebrating a full week of my comic being updated *EVERY DAY*. Go me.

Here's to forming positive habits.

-J

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0008 - Into

2009-06-06T21:33:00.004-04:00

*Actual quote. Well, they all are, but when a 220 lb muscle bound monster screams that at his television, I figure it needed affirming.

I have no idea what "Blue Tiger" means. He just yells it every time he kills someone in Call of Duty.

-J

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0007 - TGIF

2009-06-05T19:39:00.010-04:00

Yeah. I passed my review, but JUST BARELY. I have never seen anyone look so...disinterested and unimpressed with my work. Seriously. I mean, I'm humble enough to admit that I'm not that great and need a lot of improvement. I can handle criticism, I really can. But I'm also very proud of my work, and I've been in the top of many of my classes, if not certainly the upper third. I am *not good* at 3D stuff. I can animate okay, but my models suck and my rigs are wonky and texturing is devil-worship and the programs are frustrating as hell for me. I don't even like 3D animation on the whole (Pixar obvious exception).

I guess in the end its still my fault I got a bad (well, average) review. I'm just not living up to my own standards and that brings me down. (I do this often, prepare yourself) Ted (the department head) isn't a bad guy, he's just doing his job and I'm sure he has to go through untold amounts of crappy portfolios every since week. There's no real sense in defending myself, but since I already did, you can...

START HERE AND SKIP THE RANT

Yep, mom really did that. I love my mother.

TGIF.

-J

---Edit---8:06 pm Yep, I spelled Freund wrong. Ask me if I'm in the mood to fix it.

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0006 - Crunch Time

2009-06-04T23:33:00.004-04:00

And yet here I am updating my comic for today....
Sorry about the rushed drawing! I think you can gather why!

NYQUIL FOR DEPRESSION, DAYQUIL FOR FINALS! WOO!

-J

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0005 - Beachy Keen

2009-06-03T17:13:00.008-04:00

TWO COMICS TODAY!?! Yes, well, if you read my sketchjournal, you'll realize that I've discovered that updating at midnight takes all the fun out of updating my comic for me, because then I don't have anything to look forward to during the day anymore. Also, if something interesting happens that day, I would have to wait until at least the next day to upload it. This all makes PERFECT sense in my head, I promise you. Now, I'm uploading them in the evening, starting today. :)

This comic in itself is like, four stories in one. It's just your lucky freakin' day, isn't it?

Yep, he really punched a seagull for taking his potato chips. Right out of the air. Pow.

You are, in fact, never too cold to run from a shark.

-J

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0004 - 99.999939

2009-06-03T00:00:00.006-04:00

Thanks, AP Statistics.

This is every girl I had a crush on through school (along with when I liked them).

I only even talked to about half of them.

Suzy was the first girl to ever compliment me. In 7th grade she was starring at me and finally said "You have really pretty eyes."

I learned a lot by making this comic, actually. I learned I like blondes a lot better than I thought I did. I also apparently have a thing for girls with freckles and dimples.

I wonder if any of these girls will see this and recognize themselves. Or even remember me.

I wonder if they'll think it's creepy...?

(I wonder if they'll drop me a line...)

-J

EDIT: Apologies to Sara B. - I just read what you wrote in my yearbook and realized I spelled your name wrong. I'm so sorry.

But I don't feel like actually reuploading it.

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0003 - Parking Lot

2009-06-02T01:00:00.008-04:00

So, there are two people that really inspired me to start this comic as a "slice of life" comic.

The first is my professor, Krishna. I read all of Uncubed in class one day and was absolutely charmed by it.

The second was a recent find (as of two days ago) of Allan Wood's comic.

Both of them make a comic about their daily lives, and I really really wanted to tell my story. Though I don't really think it's that interesting, so the original idea was to just "comickize" the past adventures of my friends. Until last night Laura had to go and make something interesting happen.

So long story short, *now* my comic will be a chronicling of my memoirs and past heroic exploits - written as I remember them- and (when it occurs) a journal of the day's interesting events.

Because fuck continuity.

I can't wait for Thursday.

I think I like this general format for my comics.

-J

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0002 - Bears

2009-06-01T10:51:00.004-04:00

I guess its not really a comic. But I figure this would be the best place to introduce the major "characters". Tomorrow's will be much more comicky. :D

-J

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0001 - Zero to Crunk

2009-05-31T15:38:00.007-04:00

I have finally decided to bring back my comic in a slice-of-life memoirs-in-comic-form type of way. I figured I'd start with the current "favorite story" of recent, which happens to be my first real heavy experience with alcohol a few weeks back. I'd tried drinking before, I hate the taste and it seemed like I could barely even get a buzz. This night though, I was at a party surrounded by strangers I'd never see again, and I was determined to get an experience out of it.

All of this is 100% true, either from hearsay of my friends that were there, or from the bits of memory I have.

The video will *not* be uploaded.

I can laugh at myself, I don't mind. Besides, I have way more stories about everyone else in the bottom panel, and a lot more comics to draw. ;D

Here's to something beautiful.
-Jared.

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